Live In relationship

Desire v/s Destiny
Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

LIVE IN

 Live-in relationship, pre-marital sex not an offence:

In an observation that will cheer votaries of pre-marital sex and live-in-partners, the Supreme Court on Tuesday opined that a man and woman living together without marriage cannot be construed as an offence. "When two adult people want to live together what is the offence. Does it amount to an offence? Living together is not an offence. It cannot be an offence," a three judge bench of Chief Justice K G Balakrishnan, Deepak Verma and B S Chauhan observed.

MORE IMPORTANTLY A woman in a live-in relationship should be entitled to maintenance if she is deserted by her man, the National Commission for Women has said. In far-reaching recommendations to the ministry of women and child development, the commission has sought a change in the definition of "wife"  as described in Section 125 of CrPC, which deals with maintenance  and suggested that it include women involved in a live-in relationships.

 

 

Edited 2 years ago
Reason: Spelling corrected
Replies 1 to 19 of 19 Ascending
indu chhibber
indu chhibber
from Kota
1 year ago

@ DVD----That is the best thing about our forum.Smile

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

Indiforum rocks

indu chhibber
indu chhibber
from Kota
1 year ago

@DvD -See in a live-in relationship there are no major hassels in breaking up & the two persons involved have no compunctions in trying for it with new partners ,also there is no legal,moral or social censure about such behavior ,because it was just a mutual agreement between two persons ; therefore they prefer to go for new partners rather than trying their utmost to make the relationship work.

On the other hand in a marriage ,even if the initial few years are stressful,the couple try not to break up & slowly an adjustment is arrived at.

I don't like to contradict you but this is an important issue & i thought it best to put forward my views.Hope you don't mind.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

I dont mind , Its a healthy discussion !!

indu chhibber
indu chhibber
from Kota
1 year ago

@@@DVD   But divorces are much less than such breakups today,& believe me at least one of the two(the one who was ditched )suffers a lot in a breakup....;as these cases multiply there will be additional problems of unwanted pregancies,single parents ,& kids longing for the separated parent.

So many yougsters ask for my help because of these breakups& they are on the verge of suicide more often than not.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

I m not sure , why it will happen !!! But I support The court in this issue.

 

indu chhibber
indu chhibber
from Kota
1 year ago

When two individuals begin to live together there are bound to be differences & abrasions....in a marriage they try to adjust & carry on...a perfect matching of souls is not possible but they do attain a workable solution.

But in a live-in relationship there is lesser urge to make a go of it,so they part & try again ...this could be construed as a fall in divorce rates but don't the partners suffer pain after a breakup ?...they may go on trying to jell with various partners but ultimately there can be no success without adaptation...thus live ins may decrease divorce rates but that is only a statistic;in actuality there is more of frustration , bitterness & depression.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

@indu

I guess this frustration will be much less than the stupid divorce procudures frustration !

this fad is being used by teenagers who are just 19 or 18 years old. and  boys are even  into two relationships simultaneously and their studies are going for a ride. 

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

come on its noa FAD PL !!!!!

desire, it is a mature thing to be entered into by mature people. when teens without knowing repurcussions and should be studying, without parents knowledge, enter into these things should be termed  a hienous crime, not a fad. you are right.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

come on you are taking it all wrong .I guess its the best thing grown up societies can have.

i am not only talking about teens ,anyone at any age can get into live in relas.

come on !!

umesh derebail
from Mangalore
1 year ago

Such live-in relationship turns children into rebels, ultimately they forget their parents......it can cause break up of family relationship and lead to lot of stress.  I agree with Pramod.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

Now you have been Talking lot of hypothetical things here , There is a strong need to think about why this thing exists.

This exists because it is giving something to the society more importantly the court has said

A woman in a live-in relationship should be entitled to maintenance if she is deserted by her man, the National Commission for Women has said. In far-reaching recommendations to the ministry of women and child development, the commission has sought a change in the definition of "wife"  as described in Section 125 of CrPC, which deals with maintenance  and suggested that it include women involved in a live-in relationships.

 

 

desire , have you heard of live in relationship categorized by teens as, one for emotional, one for physical, one for money, and running them on simultaneously.  Indian culture is not ripe at this stage to tolerate these things. no girl is also that mod like western countries to let go a relationship easily without mental turmoils , upto the extent of suicides.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

I Guess owr society is growing up and its the first step 

umesh derebail
umesh derebail
from Mangalore
1 year ago

Live in relationship generally ends in parting, if it is considered temporary arrangement.  Very rarely Live in ends in tying the knot or marriage.  Under this circumstance it is better to have an unwritten code of conduct girls family should be kept in the loop, boys employer should be informed vide updation of cv, which contains the maritial status, which will indicate Live in.  This will ensure that boy and girl enter into arrangement by making their status known.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

Come one Umesh I guess you are generalizing it too much !!There is nothing Like that !

I guess its need of the Time !!!

umesh derebail
from Mangalore
1 year ago

I hope the pros and cons are dicussed in a realty serial Satyameva Jayte, so that we will have real life experiences :) The first episode was a wake up call for us all, wherein abortion is an issue particularly of a female kid, but here sex of the kid would not matter.

Murali Krishnan
Murali Krishnan
from Chennai
1 year ago

Basically, I believe in the institution of marriage strongly. Anything that strengthens it is good and anything that weakens it is bad.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

absolutely murali and I guess there is no harm in having a live in relationship

People abuse the live in thing.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

thats what our society isstill growing up 

umesh derebail
umesh derebail
from Mangalore
2 years ago

One good thing about live in relationship is that population control would be ensured Smile  Maintainence would definitely come into the picture if the women conceives.  It is legitimate demand by womens forum.

umesh derebail
from Mangalore
2 years ago

All live in relationship should be registered in the marriage bureau for records sake and should have parental consent particularly from the girls side.

The Fool
from Bangalore
2 years ago

If they register it, it becomes a registered marriage, right? Maybe what we need is to revise the marriage laws to ensure the couple have option to sign a contract on divorce rights over property and children  and the option of either partner to call off marriage without going to court.  But then again people will sentimentally not like to do something like this at the beginning of a relationship.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

Live in might prevent population control when basket is about to get filled but here the basket has overflown ages ago !! 

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

@umesh

All live in relationship should be registered i----NOT POSSIBLE !!! IN INDIA ATLEAST !!

Tanveer Khan
from Lucknow
2 years ago

@umesh, if the male has to pay maintenance then then what is the difference between marriage and live-in? live-in is a casual arrangement, you cannot put extra burden on one party when the decision was mutual.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

Registring the live in relation ships i guess would be a joke , No Offense Meant !

Tanveer Khan
Tanveer Khan
from Lucknow
2 years ago

I don't think there's a need to discuss Live-in Relationships. It's a matter of personal choice, and we don't have to justify our personal choices to others.

What I would really like to discuss is the stand of National Commission for women on this topic. They  really want the deserted woman in a live-in relationship to claim maintenance? Are they kidding me?

There are 2 major reasons why I am opposed to the idea of maintenance-

1. Why do you think people go into a live-in relationship? It's because they don't want a legal commitment. A marriage is recognized legally and it's difficult to get out of the arrangement if they have to. People also go for live-ins because they want to test their compatibility before actually tying the knot. So if the woman is entitled to a maintenance, the very purpose of going into live-in is defeated.

The option to quit is available to both the partners and this is a big reason why people are attracted toward this concept. So why only males have to bear the burden of maintenance?

2. What type of woman do you think embraces the concept of live-in relationship? One who is mentally strong, confident, economically empowered, and doesn't cares what people are going to say. Do you think she's really entitled for a maintenance, when she can maintain herself very well? 

I am glad that supreme court has ruled it's not a crime, but now what we really need is a set of guidelines as to what will happen in case of separation? If the couple has purchased assets jointly, how they are going to be distributed? If they have a child, what will happen to him? Who will take care of the minor's expenses? How they are going to pay taxes, jointly or severally? If one partner dies, who will be entitled to his share of assets? These are just some of the questions which need to be answered, to ensure that either partner is not harassed.

I support women empowerment, but please, no maintenance in live-ins. Let's not make it another tool in the hands of shrewd woman to harass their partners.

it's mutual harassments, men too do it, 

The Fool
from Bangalore
2 years ago

I fully agree. Adding to this, giving maintenance, property rights for live in relationships is a mockery. Marraiage is just a legal registration of a relationship that makes it easy to claim these. How can the same rights be conferred on an un-registered relationship. It will be leaglly very complicated to define a live-in relationship. Would a one night stand qualify as a live in. Would just sharing a flat with a member of opposite gender qualify as a live in relationship? And if gay relationships are also recognized, would sharing flat with member of same gender became a gay live in?

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

@pramod

I agree seriously that men too do it.

@Tanveer Khan.

Yes, That was my point ,.no maintenance in live-ins..i guess Its our resposibilty but not liability i guess I am not too harsh

Ankesh
Ankesh
from Raipur
2 years ago

"What culture ?  Please try knowing it before passing taking up the flag of Indian culture on every similar sitiuation. Presently, what passes on for Indian culture is the worst mixture of Vitcorian prudishness and Islamic rigidity."  (via Jaidev Jamwal)

Excellently said. We have to learn to honor Individual freedom in this country.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

@ankesh ..

I guess youa re right !!!! So couples going for A. would probably have lower divorce rates. !!! 

Ankesh
Ankesh
from Raipur
2 years ago

In a perfect world, there would be no divorces, everyone would be happy with their partners. This may sound absurd to many, but there has to be a healthy rate of divorce in a well functioning society.

India enjoys one of the lowest divorce rates in the world, and it might not be a thing to cheer about. An unhappy marriage leads to household violence, suicides and affects health of the people involved adversely. In situations like these, divorce is a far better option.

Sure, divorce might result into few painful weeks, but that would stilll be better than a lifetime of sufferings.

So, coming to the topic, there are two ways to see Live in relationships:

A. As a prelude to marriage. (In geek lingo, a Beta-run)

B. As an alternative to marriage.

So couples going for A. would probably have lower divorce rates. And couples opting B. might have a higher but, in my opinion, healthy (live in-) divorce rate.

 

Jaidev Jamwal
Jaidev Jamwal
from New Delhi
2 years ago

I don't understand how your example supports your assertion of increase in divorces.

umesh derebail
from Mangalore
2 years ago

If a guy can surretptiously marry without informing the live in partner than it would increase break up and family tension.  No normal female would accept his earlier live-in status.  She would rather go for divorce.

Jaidev Jamwal
Jaidev Jamwal
from New Delhi
2 years ago

What culture ?  Please try knowing it before passing taking up the flag of Indian culture on every similar sitiuation. Presently, what passes on for Indian culture is the worst mixture of Vitcorian prudishness and Islamic rigidity.

Jaidev Jamwal
from New Delhi
2 years ago

By the way, I agree with Pooja P about her views egarding divorce. But women asking for maintenance after breakup (even of her own initiation) will sure cause a lot of unwarranted trouble. Present marital laws are being abused to hilt as they are already.

Whatever is left of it ,
Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

i may repeat 

 

The live in will certainly avoid high percentage of divorces !!

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

Smile

umesh derebail
from Mangalore
2 years ago

According to me live-in will increase the degree of divorces or break ups

umesh derebail
from Mangalore
2 years ago

One example is that of a guy who enjoyed live in, wanted to silently marry community girl, suddenly the live in female came to know about it and called the would be bride, and they called off the marriage and thanked their stars

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

I guess the example holds good in case of ONS as well ,If its with mutual consent its ok .

But when you start talking about that in public to tear apart someones;s image thats wrong.

Now if its with mutual consent , I dont think partying ways with mutual consent should hold any grudges with anyone.

But yes , Its mutuall and surely it will reduce the divorce rate 

Gayathri
Gayathri
from Chennai
2 years ago

And when you don't find commitment in a relationship the lesser are the chances you try to protect it when you start losing interest..

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

I agree with your wordsUndecided, but as I have asked beforeSurprised. BREAKING-UP and moving away is easier than getting DIVORCED and FORCED TO STAY AWAY??Undecided

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

@PP

yes , thats why i say its not culture less , stay in live in for a while and if u find good the partner 

Then u can get married

The live in will certainly avoid high percentage of divorces !!

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

YepWink

Gayathri
Gayathri
from Chennai
2 years ago

live-in relationships are good only to an extent... When one of the partners gets too attached to the other and wants to live with him/her forever he/she will not accept to break up with you that easily and they become a primary thorne in your arse! It makes the situation more difficult. Our parents don't find it easy to accept. We did not find it acceptable some 5 years ago. It's quite amusing that we adopt all the cultures the westerners have started hating themselves and leave out the good ones. Live-in relationships is definitely not an offence but it makes our nation cultureless.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

@gayathri

I dont think i can use culture less as its abig word , But yes divorce is surely a big thing !!! 

Gayathri
from Chennai
2 years ago

IMHO, when you choose to live-in it is against Indian culture and it is not healthy.  It invites unwanted trouble.  It indirectly implies... "If you are not comfortable with this person anymore or got bored with him" move on choose another you are interested in now.. How do you call that? A very disciplined and peaceful life? Any relationship legally uncommitted is trouble... Everything that seems easy is not actually easy ... when you are dealing with a relationship it means you are to get hurt someday...You want to be in a live-in so you don't have to go through divorce i find that to be a very lame excuse!

Gayathri
from Chennai
2 years ago

and! all marriages don't end in divorce..! 95% of live-in ends there.. they don't take it forward.. because they want a girl from their community and the one whom their family respect..! Smile

umesh derebail
umesh derebail
from Mangalore
2 years ago

Live in relationship is not regulated which leads to break up in majority of the cases.  I believe there should be some checks and balances, particularly the parents of both boy and girl should be made aware of the relationship.  If they dont have any qualms the relationship can be legitimate.  The recent break up of Bipasha and John Abraham reveals the extent of break up.  Luckily the girl here has taken in the right spirit and moved on.  How many gals will be able to survive the break up ?

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

Not Many, but how many would be able to survive Divorce?Undecided

Maturity is lacking, and in india, it still is very much exploitable. In west, scene is a lot different.
Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

In west, people don't care muchUndecided. If one leaves, the other takes it in a right way and searches for another partner. It doesnt happen hereYell

P p , divorce takes time, and chances of reconciliation are great. With alimony issues and all. It's like tough to survive live in relationship too, because here too there is break of hearts.
Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

HmmmUndecided. But Divorce is harderUndecided

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

well SC already said that the women can claim for what ever amount is legitimate even if she bnreakls oyt of live in relationship

so I guess parents role is minimized , and anyways , ppl tend to "not inform" parents in case of live ins which is actually right in a sense that we have and respect our privacy !!

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

@umesh 

"March 24, 2010 witnessed a landmark verdict by the Supreme Court, legalizing live-in relationships in India. The Apex court justified that if two sound-minded adults of the opposite sex seek to live together without getting married the question of a “criminal offence” does not arise at all. It also cited the example of Lord Krishna and Radha’s relationship to substantiate its judgment."

P p, divorce is tough but mutual consent ones are easy to go through. My saying is teens get lured and exploited by conniving minds. A lot more prudence and regulation is need of the hour. Male preservativeness, is of highest order in India, If I am not wrong. If one see's his wife talking with someone, male ego is gone askew.
Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

U talk about male ego @umesh !!!

Thats a completely diffrent issue !!

But still guess , its more to do with growing up of socienty that anything else.

 

I remember in train once, with a group of three friends, a mod man with French cut beard, with his wife too, mod.is reclining with head rested on his wife's lap. She got so much interested in our talk that she took active part in our discussion & started laughing, and enjoying. It looked as if we were great friends. Husband was tolerating, but suddenly shouted at us, to stop it. Now there was pindrop
Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

@Pramod Lohia•^_^•

This happens everywhere !! waise you got nice exp :P

 

Silence. When this guy went out of cabin to smoke, my irritated friend went after him. Later he came back a little relived, and said to me. He had shown light to the mod. I asked what did he do. He says, he said that if you can't control your wife, it's your issue. And said next word , gonna throw him outa running train.
I am a drum of exp. Hehehe.
Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

Agree with your words PL JHISmile

Anindya Mozumdar
from Bangalore
1 year ago

Why should the parents be involved in the decision of two adults at all?

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
1 year ago

absolutely Why should the parents be involved in the decision of two adults at all?

These things have different aspects. Like one is easily carried away to break relationship at small issues. My feeling is always women who enter such relationship are at a loss. And used n abused and left. No social deterrents to curb them.
Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

NodsUndecided

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

@pramod

yes I agree with diffrent aspects , teh thing is SC has looked into it with more seriousness and now Its leagal

Anunoy
from Bardhaman
2 years ago

@Pramod: uff ei jibone aro koto kichui je dekhe jete hobe k jane Laughing

Yo,, Anunoy Da, I think or dread attending gay marriage with bands and varmala' and all that jazz. Buffet dinner too , of lavish kind.
Pooja Pradeep
Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

HmmUndecided. I just have one questionSurprised.

The meaning of MARRIAGE has been totally ruined these daysUndecided. Not everyone respects their marriageSurprised.

People get married, then few months later Get Divorced to get Married againSurprised.

When that is the case, why go GET MARRIED at all??Surprised.

LIVE-IN relationships are better right?Undecided. Live with one, if he bores you, shift your houseUndecided.

Nothing LEGAL is to be doneYell. People can enjoy SHIFTINGYell.

Desire v/s Destiny
from Gurgaon
2 years ago

no no , The SC has already said that the women can claim even in live in relationship

so India is quite serious about it !!! 

Pooja Pradeep
from Bangalore
2 years ago

Surprised


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