Realization

Belonging from the City of Joy, Kolkata, I have been brought up within a rich culture, along with tremendous love for food and respect towards diversity. When I had moved out of that city in 2007, I was more than happy and excited to do so, as the adventure of exploring the world lay in front of me. And, even though, I was within West Bengal until 2010’s beginning, I had somehow been missing out, on celebrating every Bengali festival including Durga Puja; with no regrets.

As time went by, I started living on my own and got tangled with my life in Bangalore. Though I was perfectly happy with my professional and personal life, there was always a bent void. Gradually, I realized that I am not being social with my existing friends, but more so with my acquaintances; I wasn’t aware of the life happenings of my dear ones any more. Thus, I slowly started working towards my social behavior and began hanging out with my people more frequently. This helped me fill a part of the vacuum; yet it wasn’t complete.

Steadily moving forward with my routine life, a phase of insomnia came my way. While struggling through this stage, I kept wondering what exactly was keeping me from getting sound sleep; though I was sure I wasn’t thinking about anything  to keep my brain agile, I was also confident that the unfilled cavity was somehow impacting me deep down. I couldn’t figure out the core of it, until last week. I was lying on my bed around 22:30 and trying hard to get some rest. The surrounding was quiet (as my neighbors sleep off by 22:00). Then, somewhere in my sub-conscious mind, I started hearing the sounds of musical instruments playing from far away; the mixed sounds of khamak, kartal, harmonium and dhak. It continued for what I can guess, a minute or two, when my eyes opened wide and I realized I was visualizing being back in my home around 14 years ago, during one of the festivals; and the sounds were from the various pandals (marquee) where the programs were organized. It then dawned on me, that the void was for a vital part that I had left behind, in the run for life; my childhood!

We often don’t value the things (or people) we have, when we have them. With every action we take, time smiles at us saying “I am not coming back… so, be wise!” But are we really? No! Then, what ‘can we’ or ‘do we’ do, when realization hits? Some of us get lucky and make things right; while the rest of us just stand helpless! In my life, I have never been a hard core Bengali, neither had I been proud of being one, until I apprehended that it was always concealed within me… Time is wise and it’s always helpful; though it does not repeat itself, it gives us a window of opportunity to redo or undo or rectify our lives. Don’t miss it!