So why not just get a divorce and have a mutual separation? The 'No hard feelings' type. Do the thing and move on. Humans have a pretty short natural lifespan for a dominating species so people should just get things done quickly rather than wasting time in complaining. They should ask if their husbands feel the same. You'll be surprised they may feel the same, but probably keeping their mouth shut for many reasons. Being in a relationship where you feel stifled- man or woman- is of no use. I am assuming that aunty does have a qualification to get a job and become self-sustaining, so other than the initial period it should be much better. Or live separately without divorce, do their thing as well. How hard is it to get things done in this day of age? Especially one qualifies on paper to get a job? These days I see both parties getting a job and working to bring a good income at home as much as possible, and hiring someone to take care of the house by staying 24/7. Same with my neighbour. At some point in the near future, time will come where both parties have to work to bring income at home.
Looks easy to say, but in practise, reality is different.
Either one stops complaining about it or do something about it. Everybody makes compromises at a certain point in their lives, even if you keep aside marriage. But if someone feels it's a one-way track, its best to end it then and there. You live. They live. Everyone goes home. Not happy, but at least they have a shot in going back to the right track. Assuming the reason for feeling like that is not because of the other guy, it's not fair for that person too. The essence of relationships starts to rust and crack eventually. Would you rather wait for that? Especially when you start getting kids and they become matured? Because when that happens, kids get involved too. And that's not cool.
Besides, many people have done this irrespective of male/female. Some regret it even though they achieved something out of it, some regret because it was a waste and ruined a relationship which later looked as healthy. Some don't regret it- irrespective of the results. Whatever one does- male or female- if one regrets doing something which they felt later that they shouldn't- they're stupid. Regrets are for those who made a decision based on insecurity rather than their own free will to do so. Living separately and achieving a career is also not a pretty good solution.
This is why kids needs to start being upfront with their parents about their marriage. They should be married because they want to be rather than because they have to. But if they did thinking that its for their parents, that individual is stupid. That other person's life becomes attached with you, and if the relationship buckles, the other person suffers too. Nothing is easier said than done, but complaining about it and doing anything is stupid.
TS, it is like this, a cancerous area is first treated and in last stage it is removed. Your way is straight forward and clear but everything is entwined in Indian culture. Sacrifices, expectations of parents, etc. still play an important role in Indian context. Innocent pranks lead to devastating levels. I recall an incident some 10 years back. I was going in a train from Ajmer to mumbai. A group of friends too were traveling back after visiting dargah. One of them was chatting with his wife on phone and his friend played a prank and took the phone from him and told his wife on the other side of phone that they had changed plans and were on way to Mussoorie. Now this guy was at receiving end. She believed him and a small prank and this guy held his phone to his ear hearing her. I couldn't hear what he was listening to but after listening to her for some time his male ego blurted, "why, why can't I go to mussoorie if i like." and cut the phone. I was seeing they were in same train to mumbai, and unnecessarily created a rift. By evening time situation had gotten worse as i saw upto divorce over phone. At night eleven o clock i saw the guy tense smoking cigarette near toilet area and we got to chat a bit.
Point is simple pranks go to extremes.
everything is entwined in Indian culture.
what on earth is indian culture? what is practiced in your house may not be practiced in mine...so how will it be indian culture?
Exceptions are always there. But when we term something and talk, we take a general phenomenon with exceptions. In western culture many orthodox families may be found, but they are exceptions.
rio...this whole thingy of indian culture is bit crap....india is too diverse in its practices....you know there are many communities in south where its okay for uncle n neice to marry....but in north its unthinkable fyi...i dont want to start any north south debate or rift....but just making a point....same way in places like meghalaya,...its matriachal society where man moves into brides home unlike other places....so lets not talk this elusive indian culture...where you'll find many differences in practices
The thing about culture is that it evolves according to people and its lifestyle. So...
And if a husband and in-laws aren't supportive, maybe she should quit for a year and blow all their money away. Go shop, travel and eat until her husband is nearly bankrupt. That should teach them a lesson 