Locked: Gender bias on readership!

Really @Vijay? That is news. 

But i have seemn male writers too, with amazing writing skills.

Aftereffects of chatting with AS (I know that smile)

VP let me satisfy/fuel my hollow ego by considering you're really admiring my works [Mahraj style smile]

Yes AS I am also suffering from the same effects 

VP [blushing]

yes i am.. or even the other way round... though that is rare.. knowing the types of hounds men are!

@TS what is this aunty uncle thing man? 

Aersh's question is about gender not age.

If someone uses an attractive picture of himself/heself or someone else to drive traffic to their blog then that is their lookout.

Blogosphere is a free for all in any case. To add another cliche to all the others 'To each his own. Saanu ki?

You're implying that I am talking about age. I am not.

@TS I am glad that is clear then.

well.. stagg mann have you considered gettin a new gravatar!!! maybe that would help!! LOL.. jus kiddin.. don take too personally!! 

i think u missed seeing popular threads by The fool, Ranjith, Aditya ray, Rio and many other male bloggers. about the last para...hmm yes i've seen that but even there've been contest related thread by a male blogger giving some samsung which was not deleted.

besides there are some female blogger mutual admiration groups who comments on each other's blogs, i very rarely see male commenting on them...except maybe 1-2

Nandini, it's not who created threads. I'll tell you from personal experience. I came across a thread lying dead for weeks, I posted a reply. Nothing happened. Then the next day a girl posted in that thread, and the very same day it got 10 other posts like "Hahaha you're funny" or "I agree with you" or "Great". These posts weren't even directed at the original poster who was a guy, but the girl.

I pay special attantion to these things because Nandini you have read my blog and you know this is exactly the kind of stuff I love to write about.

And also, Nandini, the contest thread I'm talking about (I won't mention its name but you must have seen it) doesn't even have a prize. WTF? So even I can hold a "name-sake" contest that has no prizes, and the only winner is me by self promoting my own blog?

true.. but can that one post be used to generalise the entire phenomenon?? i am just asking.. not commenting.

Hoping for a mature discussion here. Danish, it's not the post. I'm not blaming anyone for creating that post. If I could get away with it, I would have done the exact same thing. It's the fact that the post and the thread has been allowed to live and thrive for over a month, for reasons I can't grasp. I feel if a guy had created that thread, it would have been deleted, or at best, received 10 responses. Who would want to participate in a contest with no prize?

But just because it's a woman's thread, for some reason, the blatant self-promotion is ignored and everyone goes along with it. Why does that happen? Why does logic fail here? I'm genuinely asking. Is the gender of the creator the only reason, or is there something more that I am missing? Again, I'm not questioning the post, I am questioning people's reaction to the post.

PS- I have no problem with such threads being created. Like I mentioned, I would use such subtle self-promotional tactics myself if I could get away with it. I don't blame anyone for enjoying a privilege that I do not have, for if I did, I would be a hypocrite. I am only citing this in the context of this discussion to back my points with facts.

Rio had a thread recently collecting opinions for his blog from bloggers regarding some marraige topic...it wasnt deleted right? so it equals out to the thread u r mentioning.

Did he link to his own blog?

doesnt matter if he linked or not...it was all about his blog and everyone knew it and participated

well.. i am more than open to a mature discussion, provided everyone takes in thte spirit.. I am new here, and am definitely not keen to start off on the wrong foot! 

apart from that, the one thread you mention is a valid point.. but then its just ONE post.. the fact that not many like that have popped up restores my belief on blogosphere.. unlike twitter or facebook

and if someone is capable of carrying out such clever publicity, i would actually commend that person.. i don't understand how others could fall for it so easily!!

also, perhaps you guys are familiar with each other for some time, so maybe its kinda cool among you guys to use names.. but since i know no one, i would avoid mentioning names!

i just went through that thread.. i have to say.. its very subtle.. well played!!

but who knows, perhaps he never intended it thst way!!

I wonder why no one reviewed my blog even though it's been posted for more than a week!!! On a serious note, there is sometimes a gender bias and it is much more blatant at fb...

I guess the majority here does not agree with what I say. In the absence of any panel of judges, the majority opinion should be the right one. Oh well, I tried. That should settle this topic. Thanks everyone for posting your views.

Agreed to most of your points.

Name some names. Don't be shy. 

It was under guest blogging category, with explicit intentions to evolve a blogpost. Now, the post is also up at my blog with every participants bloglinks. If it is some violation I donot mind it's deletion.

Madhu.. names can turn things ugly!! c'mon.. spicing things up is fine.. but stirrig the hornet's nest is scary!!

nice rio...i just wanted to defeat stag mann in his debate so used ur example, i had forgotten the guest blogging thing 

@Aersh, okhli mein sar diya toh moosal se kya darna.

@Stagg Man i was agreeing with you but missed writing your name. And to prove you somewhat wrong I am visiting your blog just now. Cheer up!

hmmmm.... a lot to reflect......................

its abour darna.. in my other thread, things went out of hand with a debate turning into a battle with people taking things too literally and personally

@Madhu, nothing to cheer me up about. I'm cool. And I have already conceded defeat, so you don't have to visit my blog 

Nice point to ponder Khushrav

nice observations... btw who is that female blogger who has animated profile pic throwing flying kiss at readers??

Nice Prof. AS you should get a degree in Facebooking.  BTW I had read a story on yahoo! about Americans getting their facejobs done just for Facebook Profile pics

Duniya wale chahe jal jal marein,

Duniya wale chahe jal jal marein,

interesting observation. 

Duniya wale chahe jal jal marein,

rio...gaane ke aage ka line bhul gaye?? 

@Anunoy, well analysed.

@Rio why should the people of the world burn thrice? 

I guess I am guilty of replying to comments by male bloggers. :)

I don't care.

@Nandini sorry. I know you don't care as well. We are cool and not bothered by such small male/female issues. We have to save the world you know.

@ Nandini Deka : Common how can I take any particular name in a public space unless the person has harmed me... but it's no exaggeration, very recently I landed to a blog and saw that charming approach.

@ VP : hahaaaa now I'm wondering what I've to take care of (ref: my facebook header)... this is certainly a bad joke... what do you say...

@ Rio : [Monkish smile]

@ Madhu: thanks a lot my friend [I knew you'd understand me wala smile]

yo right madhu!

Madhu, may be my mobile want's to make me the thrice great Hermes, "god Knows"

@Anunoy- U basically summarized what I wanted to say but in a much more diplomatic and non offensive manner. Kudos!

@SM: When happenings are same observations can certainly match right?... after all observations are not fingerprints [grin]... FYI, before jotting down my say I really didn't read the entire thread... I just tried to answer thread opener's query... If using diplomacy and non offensive route serves the same purpose without making anybody feel 'shit' then why to take the bushy path hmmm? [Isn't there a point bro wala smile]

I see the real diplomat in you bro. Anunoy. 

Oh yes, so you're ready to pass on the baton of diplomacy Rio? ['I am never an ape/cheetah but certainly a rhino' wala wink]

The second thing about a good photo alluring readers (of opposite sex) - I do not think it holds true in 90% of the cases. A profile thumbnail (like logo) represents our blog as a brand and us as brand ambassadors so shouldn't everyone present their best selves there? Some might go far but that is true for both genders! Maybe a few people might flock for the looks etc but a blog doesn't become successful because of them. Content is the king. And Google bot doesn't recognize pretty faces ;)

And about name calling - I have been active on IB for more than a month and I know exactly who have been pointed out. 

Well said Ritu

I agree with Ritu 

 Content is the king. And Google bot doesn't recognize pretty faces

This is the key Ritu.  There are people who think that getting posted on forum or getting 100+ votes is the key.  The actual key is getting the blog to be successful with good content which makes people come back and refer/read your blog.  Faces dont matter

Very Diplomatic answer Vijay,  you will get along in life very well.

No it is not a diplomatic answer Rio.  Ritu said the right thing.  People often think posting a thread on forum and getting 100 odd replies is success or getting 100 + votes is success then they are sadly mistaken.  If you open up old thread you will see many of the blogs who were on active on the dont exist any more.  Only ones in existence are those who have got solid content.

As far as I see it Forums are for discussing problems faced by the bloggers and/or some off topic discussions but lately I have seen that the forum is being used to attack individuals.  I can list them here but was hoping to start a seperate thread for that

Yes yes vijay, you omitted one or two lines cleverly

Ha Ha Rio did that on purpose.  Don't want to step on wrong toes eh?  There is always a certain Dr.Dang lurking around and giving thapad to him is strict no no 

Ritu very very well said. Agree with you on all the points!! 

VP agree with you also. Good points!

wel said Ritu!

I can't agree more to your this thought - I believe that women take things more seriously and you will see a lot of women interacting with each other in these discussions while the guys are like "Whatever".

It needs to be kept in mind, a cool/sexy/tempting/convincing/friendly/magnetic photo will help one to get the initial boost only and future will be decided by richness of his/her contents... no denying of this fact buddy... yes bots don't recognise pretty faces... true true true... Cheers!!!

AS maybe Google will come up with a face recognition bot soon

hmmm VP.... but judging from the profoundness of the issue (not joking really) I prefer not to go off-topic in this thread [Smile]

Neither me AS but I need to ask you how can (not joke really) and (smile) at the same time

VP, smiling and joking are never a husband-wife... in the morning you pass on a good morning smile to your boss (out of courtesy mostly)... so, how much 'jokes quotient' do you think is attached to that smile? [wink]

True AS got your point, it is the smile you give to the traffic inspector who is stopping you after jumping a signal

Potential ??? It is a World War Z !!!

i thought war was over yesterday...

Nandini: seems the peace was just a temporary gap between two wars :P

GOD!!! does the war never get over! 

Sadly PEACE is just a myth my friend.  It is just a interval between two wars 

But where is our star diplomat Anunoy, come up bro.

rio his diplomacy got dissected [ hehehe you had it coming wala smile ] i think i can order my *popcorn* now

I just want to see his callibre, i admire his play of words too.

for friends waiting with coke and popcorn for my lengthy reply:-

Sorry, it's too sunny over here in my place and I'm already a dry mango peel even before it's midday... If you're interested I can recommend you D-Day [satisfies smile]

and I heard someone has misunderstood me as diplomat or word-juggler... eh?

that is an interesting point of view... blog and homes.. never thought on those lines at all!! 

btw.. then my blog should look like a clutter!! LOL

Well, I have banked on generalization very heavily. You can pardon me for that :)

chill dude... i get the idea.. i was just jokin... as ever, m the clown here!! 

but seriously speaking.. there is lot of sense in what you say!

If my blog was the equivalent of my room, that'd be the hardest puzzle I ever made. 

since you say blogs are homes, why be surprised if gals do little make up of their blogs like they do in real life?

I don't think its opinion about a blog thats in question here. I can like/dislike your blog, just like you can like/dislike mine, and I don't think any of us have a problem with purely content based opinion be it positive or negative. The pictures/makeup however you put it is also content, and it may cause opinions to change about a blog. Thats all fine. I think the main problem here, is assuming that all the content that a person adds is for others' benefit. A lot of blogs are for others' benefit, I agree, but just like anywhere else, one must be careful before generalizing.

Take Pooja's blog for instance, she says above that she treats it like her diary, maybe a more public version of that little book most people keep under their pillow.. So she personalizes it, while also wanting to share her views. My blog, it is purely a means to have a "regular" platform for my created puzzles, so my content is based only on others' benefit, so I don't have much personalized pages (in fact I added a few after it was pointed out here on my review topic!). 

As I said on the other topic where all this started, its all about not thinking too much. To each their own, and just be yourself, if you think too much, you're just stepping on your own blogging experience. 

nice view Purnendu... your glasses are justified bro [smile]

Stagg, at any place, be it forum, or tete a tete chit chats, no matter how much one harps on equality, all are just ornamental things, lending weight to speech. Practical harsh reality goes, and I have seen it to be very true at most occassions, Never argue with a lady. If you dig deep into threads of two years back, I had held some view to be correct and supported a friend vehemently, but later came to conclusion all was futile. The earlier one learns the better. My personal views and I may look traitor here, so be it.

Stagg Mann, this whole thing started because of this on the other topic, posted by you - "And one other thing, this might sound brutal, but you're a girl and that's a big part of why you're getting all those hits and comments. There's too many lonely guys out here looking for any way to start a conversation with a girl, and what better way than to comment on your blog. Trust me, I'm a guy, and I know these things." (Correct me if I'm wrong). 

So my point is, that was definitely unnecessarily getting personal, and it came out as more of an "attack" rather than just another debate point. Its not even about being politically correct, its about basic conversation skills, whether online, or offline. Rather than your point itself, its maybe the way you put your point across. Even now, you've basically written a long post attacking everyone for having their holier-than-thou/moral/politically-correct attitude and saying everyone has their own opinion in the same post. Being all that above is also people's opinion. If I think someone else's opinion is wrong, thats also my opinion. If you want to debate, you must be prepared to go all the way and do it right, rather than posting as an attack and then complaining about opinion when people retaliate. 

Again, this is just my opinion on why this debate spiralled out of control. I'm not a conversational wizard either, but i do understand that, if I want a healthy debate, I need to respect the fact that its a debate away from the participating people and about a certain topic.

The lay-out of the Forum itself negates healthy debate and conversation. Instead of giving in their two cents opinion and then having another person giving his rebuttal to that very point, we have people writing a long post, irrespective of seriousness, followed by a posse of people agreeing, liking, disliking, seconding, thirding and numerously high fiving. 

It takes such a lot of effort to know who made what important point that it gets exhausting just to form a rebuttal or opinion on it and the debate gets stale just scrolling through the page. 

PS I second, third, fourth you.

Well said!! 

got ur point SM....by the way people should take criticism with a pinch of salt. everyone indeed has right to their own opinions and that wont change. but whatever you say also reflects the kind of person he is, so he might get criticised back, so accept that too with grace.

If someone said something about  someone's blog pictures, that person has equal right to hit back and say what was said in reply above 

@Rio, truer words have never been spoken brother. Amen to you.

@Prasanna- The part you quoted as said by me is correct, I used the exact words. I don't understand how it is personal. I am not even blaming women but the men, saying it is the men who ruin the authenticity of a blog. I am pretty sure if you read that quote of mine, you would also have read that I said I myself would use these tactics if I could get away with it, who wouldn't? But I don't understand why you pick and choose my quotes and cite my out of context. I am not saying it is deliberate, maybe you have some unconscious bias against me.

And secondly, I am not against questioning opinions, but I think between the 2 of us, there seems to be a misunderstanding regarding the difference between attacking an opinion and attacking the person behind an opinion. I am all for the former, and against the latter. Attacking an opinion is not getting personal, attacking the person is. 

You gave a long expressive reply, and I appreciate it and am returning it by taking the trouble to write a long reply. Here we are engaged in a healthy debate of attacking opinions. But if instead of this reply, I wrote something like 'Sorry too long couldn't read'', that would make me an internet troll who attacks people because I am not intelligent enough to attack opinions, and in  turn I can expect attacks on myself too.

I hope you see the difference. I have also put in extra effort to be very neutral in this post so it is not misunderstood as a personal attack.

Why am I feeling that the sun is so caring in most other places... people really can afford to do or see BOOM BOOM (remember Afridi?).. may be I'll get that after the sunset [hopeful smile]

See again, you're basically thinking about hidden bias, context, blah blah blah, when there's nothing like that. Context is irrelevant since I'm mainly talking about how that point might have seemed to readers, rather than whether you are right or wrong (hence all the rubbish I wrote about conversational skills ). The thing is, as you are doing now, you get defensive and hint at hidden agendas, moral policies, political correctness blah blah when I just pointed out a basic conversational point. Its just too much thinking dude. If you want a healthy debate, see that you're doing your part.

Anyway, the thing is, like I said, it doesn't matter what you said in later posts. That post came out like a personal attack. Why did it come out like a personal attack? Because you basically implied that most of the feedback Pankti gets is not because of her content, and that is a personal attack at the quality of her blog. Even if you didn't mean it that way, basic conversational traits imply that enough that she can interpret it that way. And if she does, she will retaliate in tune. Its maybe not your fault, you do have a point. I know that in general girls on facebook, etc. get a whole bundle of likes for their pics and what not, and that does go on. But the thing is, instead of saying "Oh, some of these blogs might have some likes simply because its a male viewin a female's blog", you basically went all out and said that "a big part" of Pankti's hits and comments are because she's a girl. Thats definitely not putting your point correctly, if I understood your point. Unless of course you did research about Pankti's blog and backed it up with facts, but you didn't, so..

Yes, you need to be careful when making delicate points. Thats why they are delicate points. 

prasanna....now someone else got in the hot water not SM  see pooja's reply 

Hehe, I saw that. I think I even mentioned it in a reply above 

@Prasanna- I agree with what you said about hidden agenda, context, blah blah blah. I was wrong, I was probably being defensive and therefore take back whatever I said there .

As for the second paragraph, I reiterate that it was not personal, my comment was targetted at men who comment on women's blogs for the heck of it. I have never read Pankti's blog and wouldn't know about it, but I do know about men who comment on blogs. Anyway maybe it appeared personal, harm's done, no point revisiting it.

And as for the last point about being careful when making delicate points, it's a 2-way street. People need to be careful interpreting delicate points without simply lashing out. If you look for something offensive in every post, you will most definitely find it and be offended, and that's just not a happy place to be. My last statement was targetted at your statement and not you, so no offense please.

I never take offense, its one of my biggest flaws 

Anyway, I think this is one of those rare cases where its not a two-way street, simply because thats how society is. A basic understanding of the different backgrounds people come from is important. If a male talks to a female about gender based issues, the male automatically needs to be careful, and this is no slight on anyone at all, it is just that in general, in society, with good reason, females can feel like victims in a way. Someone like you or me who haven't been through this wouldn't understand how that generally feels so its up to us to be careful about how to approach a related topic. Its similar to a conversation about racism between two people of different races, the race that has been oppressed through history will feel like a victim, and its upto the other to approach cautiously and respect those feelings.  

I beg to differ. We see all these national and local politicians getting offended over some scene in a new movie or what some celebrity tweeted, and they call a hartal or go on a rampage of violence. We condone their actions, we talk about how they are just waiting for a chance to be offended. I feel we should be the same way with our peers, regardless of their gender, we should give them a reality check when they deserve it. But then, that's just my opinion. Let's just agree to disagree.

Ataboy PS spoken like true Socrates protege

Well, if you're looking to give a reality check, that means, in your mind, you are surely on the correct side of the debate, which is the wrong way to approach a debate I think. Also, politicians, celebrities do not make a good comparison here, I doubt either of them are ever oppressed as females have been in general over time in society  Of course at the end we can disagree, just thought I'd point out what I think is a flawed comparison.

@Stagg Mann - condone or condemn?

I was talking about reality check not in terms of a debate but in terms of a discussion being a 2-way street, which is what we were talking about. Regardless of an opinion being popular or not (because I disagree that there is a right/wrong opinion), a person is entitled to air that opinion and not be chastized for it. Of course we are disagreeing, but I just wanted to point out this misunderstanding

Condemn. *facepalm* the edit button had disappeared by the time I reread it and I was hoping nobody would notice the gaffe.

SM they may give u back a reality check in return too 

Ah right, misunderstood that. The point still stands though. The oppressed group feeling like victims is also a reality, maybe you should check it 

Nandini I'm all for it. I give back as good as I get it and sometimes better, just hope nobody would say its uncalled for or below the belt or too personal. Everyone's a badass until the sh!t hits the fan, including me.

@Prasanna- but on the internet, everyone is an equal. Physical characteristics and whatever factors  oppress women in society are completely out of the equation, there is no threat of danger. So it is my opinion that they are not oppressed on a forum, and shouldn't be given special treatment.

They're still the same people from real life, though, they don't suddenly become different and forget all the experiences once online  No human is that good at compartmentalization. At the base of it, just respect the fact that they are humans with a certain different background to yours, which holds true individually too, but definitely more pronounced in the broader group dynamic. 

In real life, my mantra has always been 'if you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch'. Its how I was brought up in an uber competitive environment by people who pulled no punches, and I'm the same online when I blog or post on the forum. And I know girls who grew up with me who are just as tough, so it's hard for me to think of women as dainty creatures- I was brought up by strong women, and my best friend is a strong woman, and I just refuse to believe that women are emotionally weak or inferior and need special treatment. If a woman is like that, it's not because she is a sensitive woman, but because she is a sensitive person. But that's just my opinion

At the end of the day, you've hit the nail on the head- it all boils down to who each one of us is as an individual and where we come from. You and I are different and will never come around to the other's side. But that's also my opinion and /i don't mean to offend you by saying you are different from me

See, I think you're conflicting your wants here. You wanted a healthy debate, not a tough fight right? If its a tough fight you were looking for, these girls gave you that, and in no way was I implying they aren't tough, and neither should you be, seeing how defensive you got by the end  I didn't say that these women are weak, I just said they have some feelings due to society, and so will lash out if you put your point across in a harsh way. So basically, my argument wasn't that "women are weak" at all, contrary to that, I was just saying if its a delicate topic, and if you don't approach it with the care that it deserves, its understandable with the general knowledge of society that they will lash out at you, and so you won't get your healthy debate that you want. If its a pull-no-punches-take-all-comers attitude you want, thats what you got here, so you shouldn't complain about healthy debates. Decide one and hold to that 

I didnt get defensive, I apologized because they felt what I was saying was "uncalled for"/"below the belt"/"too personal". If I really let loose, a lot of people would be crying foul, and more importantly, I am not aware of the rules and regulations here and dont want to risk a ban.

I didn't complain, I apologized to the complaints I was getting. Don't see how it is being interpreted as the complete opposite. But you are entitled to your opinion.

To put it very delicately, I suspect you are conflicting your statements here. Two days back, I was the one getting too blunt/ personal. 2 days later, I am the one complaining the same thing about other people . Confused.

Out of curiosity, which post are you referring to as an apology?  I really hope its not the base one that we've been replying on right now. 

It's in the very same thread you earlier quoted me from. I am a bit surprised that you missed it. But anyway, I'm not reading into it, or saying anything about 'context'. Here the post is-

@Madhu- not really, but I'll apologize just in case any sentiments have been hurt. I have been taught to respect my elders. I'll be the bigger man- sorry everyone in case I was too brutal or straightforward with my opinions. This will be my last post in this thread.

SM no its same PS is perfectly right, two days back you got personal and they started hitting u back equally then u complained when u felt their punch....

I hope you see that there is no conflict on my end. I didn't "complain" about anyone else's posts, I maintain they have the right to type whatever the hell they want through their account, but so do I. I just apologized for being a little blunt with my opinions, and wish everyone doesnt have to apologize for saying what they are thinking. But then again, thats jusy my opinion

Well, I was mainly replying to your first post that started it and this particular post that we're replying to, citing that perhaps even though your views may be genuine, your approach puts you away from your desire of a healthy debate. Thats been my point all along, and I only took the trouble to put that across, because you wanted a healthy debate, and I just wanted to say you might have made that happen with a bit more careful approach.  

Nandini I didn't complain, I just asked why I am the only one being accused of saying things that were "hitting below the belt"/ "personal"/ "uncalled for" (Actual phrases used against me, so you know I'm not the one  complaining). When I didn't get a reply, I simply apologized and left that thread, because I figured it was a wrong tone to use with elders. Please dont say I complained, if I really wanted to go personal, I myself would feel terrible afterwards.

Prasanna- yes you agree I used the wrong approach, in that I was too blunt with my words. Which has been my view as well. I hope that settles it.

well check ur posts again dude  today also u complained that they were moral policing while actually they were also expressing their opinions and no one can stop them either  they also give what they get

Yup, settled. Peace for all! 

Nandini, check it. They didn't 'give what they got', they got what they gave. Then they complained that it is 'uncalled for'/ 'below the belt'/ 'personal'/ 'targetting'. That is not giving what they got, that is simply complaining about playing rough, for which I already apologized.

all the gals gave back big time!!! infact whacked the guys back as good as they got. Yes u did complain as PS also pointed out. Strange u are not realizing it though. 

Lol ok if that's your opinion. Anyone who read that thread can form their own opinions. Though if I did complain, I would have asked for an apology, not given one.

I said, peace for all!  If you don't listen, I'll ask Sfurti to discipline all of you with peas for all 

VP, the question asked is the vague one unless each and every blogger starts interrogating their visitors to know their intention for visiting the blog. How can I say why ABC visited my blog? In the same way, how would you know why I visited your blog if I don't specify it? Hence, according to me, this thread doesn't serve any purpose except to inflame a war between male and female sex. But again that's my opinion!

Exactly. Pankti is right. This topic has just become a dissing spot.

dissing spot > To show disrespect to, often by insult or criticism

We should open Dissing spots across India. Major business attraction  People love to see other people arguing