Are women submissive or loyal or just materialistic ?
I am a woman but i often fail to understand the motive behind the reactions of some women in crisis.Take the case of Shiny Ahuja's wife-she supported him unflinchingly--perhaps he really was innocent,we don't know.But what about Leela Maderna--she knows her hubby Mahipal Maderna carried on behind her back but she is his strongest supporter today. Why ? Is it plain loyalty ,or an attempt to keep her home intact ? There might be other factors at play--but it IS difficult to understand why women who have been wronged, come out in defence of the wrong-doer.
What do you all say? Should women be doing this ?Is it nobility & forgiveness on their part ? Do enlighten me.
Even God did not understand women, how can we?
Well jokes apart, I think the upbringing of women in our world is such that she always needs a male support; be it brother or father or husband or son.
And after marriage, its obviously husband. Moreover, women by nature are forgiving and hence, such instances happen. Such men should think hundred times before cheating their wives or girl-friends
i love d first line in your reply Animesh..lol
You have a good point - especially the first sentence lol. What's odd is that while it's mainly Indian women who are raised to need a male support, western women do the same thing and they are raised to stand alone. It's common to hear western women (from many countries) indicate how they don't need a man but look at women like Hillary Clinton. Her husband openly admitted he had done things but didn't classify them as sexual and she still stood by his side. In her case, I would love to believe that it was because he was in politics and she chose not to kill his career but instead pursue her own, despite him. I can't be sure though. I know she was given a free chance to walk away and uphold the respect of all American women or teach the lesson of forgiveness.
The way you put up your questions reminds me of how India TV asks questions to their viewers. Shiny Ahuja? Sad case. Truth be told there have been many cases here in suburban Mumbai where maids have put people in trouble. Celebs? Easy targets, especially when they interact with them directly. Law favours the women but sadly there are those who take advantage of it. I don't know who is that Leela aunty. I am sure there are many men who do that as well. In a way you answered your own question. It is difficult to understand/know the cause because there are other factors at play. Got nothing to do with gender, rather its got to do with the indivudual and his/her experiences in the past and the strength of relationship in the present.
women do take advantage of d law"s tilt in their favor which is v hard on innocent men
in d case of LEELA-her hubbywas a minister in Rajasthan cabinet..he was caught in a sleaze CD with Banwari Devi, a nurse who is said to have been trying 2 sell it 2 d highest bidder..then she vanished & it is said that she was'bhasmofied' in a lime kiln...the minister has been ousted from Congress &is facing arrest...but Leela Devi says it is no crime to have n illicit relation or to be clicked in a cd....see what strong mettal indian wives r made of !
@indu
http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-09-08/news-interviews/28239653_1_shiney-ahuja-har-pall-maid-servant
http://shineyahujainnocent.blogspot.com/2011/05/shiney-ahuja-speaks-to-media-after-two.html
yes dear it does seem that Shiny is innocent...what a hellish experience for him!
But Lewinski never backtracked. The maid confessed to lying.
Yes, men can be easy targets too.
Pramod Hillary's response is more understandable in the Indian context where as Animesh says women r brought up 2 b forgiving & understanding...besides they may not have ne one else to fall back on....but Hillary is a powerful woman,well able to fend for herself....Rumbaho rightly says Monica never backtracked...still Hillary forgave him ...was it d strength of their relationship or other practical considerations which motivated her ? obviously d strength of relationship was nill for Bill.
Upbringing of women same everywhere, be it India or abroad.
I think it was political for Hillary to stay. If you look at their relationship now, it's clearly not the same as it was before that bombshell was dropped on her. She's obviously more distant.
You are right-in the case of some women their upbringing & forgiveness must be at play.
Shiny ahuja was attracted to a maid, that presents very badly on his wife 
. So they support their husband, or it will seem that they were not satisfied with their wifes.
What a unique take on the topic,Mayur!
Everything changes from person to person, I feel....
Yes it does, but should we call such women large-hearted or pragmatic or spineless ?
Not spineless, it's all depend on the situations and people among which they are brought up. And mostly our families keep girls submissive. So this may happen. Can't say anything about big public figs. Their life and common people's life is different.
i had the same views but was afraid to present them and project women as greedy and take the wrath of "maa kalis" of indiblogger. Women can be very cunning sometimes you will thing they are so selfless and simple but will never know what dangerous signals their neorons are firing at that time.
@Mohini...yes some simple women are so submissive that they do not think of revolt.
@The Fool...Your analysis is correct ..many women do hang on bc of the perks their marriage endows.If we could peep, i wonder what sort of a married life it would be!
@Mayur....Don;t be afraid of maa kalis...they cannot harm you from distance.
Well it is really a person's individual choice. Some people have a bigger heart to forgive the wrong doers and some dont. Some love their other half unconditionally and are willing to ignore their wrongdoings, while others cant do that.
Some might fight with the wrong doer in their personal space, but think its their duty to protect them in public. SOmeare scared to venture on own, while others dont give a damn and punish the guilty.
Its all a matter of personal choice, circumstances, upbringing and own value system. Everyone has their own reasons and beliefs and we cant judge them. And we should not. As far as I am concerned, I think there is no excuse for cheating, and no matter how much I'd love the person, I wouldnt want to carry a relationship which has had a dent on it. If someone does, I'd respect them, its their life and thier decision. I can just talk about it, but the person has to go through it. So instead of pointing fingers, we should understand what the circumstances would have been with her that she has to put up with a person who has wronged her.
We're all sexists.
@styledestino-thanx for such an exhaustive reply....u r right on every count....u have missed your calling girl...write more about such subjects!
@indianomics.....not every woman i think.
Maderna,s wife is supporting Madera only to save his family. She already lost her husband if she diregard Maderna she even lose her family and future of her children. Ladies can sacrisfy anything for husband and children, that is their character specialy India woman.
In today's world it is impossible to shield grown up children from such hot news...no matter how hard she tries the truth will come out one day & the repercussions will follow...Maderna has already spoiled his family's name & peace of mind....i sincerely hope he has not destroyed his children's future.
it is not human being but it is with living beings tendency to save itself till the time the pran is there. So everybody know that Mr Maderna is a main culprit but she is indian wife who know for sacrisfies and she also doing same.
it is not human being but it is with living beings tendency to save itself till the time the pran is there. So everybody know that Mr Maderna is a main culprit but she is indian wife who know for sacrisfies and she also doing same.
I am not sure about Shiny Ahuja's innocence. Initially when the case came up, he was trying to prove that it was consensual sex. Though not illegal, the idea of a married man having consensual sex with maid sounds kind of gross. A man capable of that I would beleive would be capable of rape as well.
And one of the worst cases I can think of is DGP Rathore. His shameless wife Abha Rathore is fighting his case as a lawyer. I have only contempt for such women.
I had forgotten about Shiny's initial statement--this does put a new light on the whole affair....but then the maid admitted to having lodged a false report...only God or Shiny know the truth.
But please don't be so cruel to Abha.....we don't know her circumstances;whether she has anyone to fall back upon,whether she can support herself independently,whether she is being coerced to do this.See, a woman who has led a sheltered life for donkey's years may not be emotionally capable of taking such a huge decision all of a sudden...as styledestino & many others have said,individual differences have to be taken into account.
Its wrong to generalise women as submissive or materialistic. I think it depends on that individual. Some women are able to forgive and move on, for the sake of their relationship, while others head for a separation.
There could be many reasons behind a woman"s forgiveness. Yes forgiveness has many benefits as i have said in my blogpost "Forgiveness for wellness" http://jeeteraho.blogspot.com
they are submissive.. loyalty surfaces due to that.. women like wives of Maderna and Ahuja are spineless.. perhaps they deserve their husbands!!!
Relax & all above,
Don't misunderstand me frnds,my hubby is a perfect gentleman;but all this discussion led me to think what i would have done if i had been in their place. Well at this age i cant look for support from my parents.My siblings & kids have their own lives & i wouldn't like to thrust myself upon them.If i was financially independent i would have spent no time in shifting out.But i am not that & i ineglected my carreer for the sake of my family.So what would i have done ? One thing is crystal clear-i would not ever have defended him in public.I would not have forgiven him, bcoz certain things i just cannot gulp.Then what ?
I think i would let him stew in his own soup & cut off all connections with him.I would wait eagerly for him to be taken to prison so that i can live in peace.The question of leaving the marital home would also not arise bcoz i had given up my own life to make it.
What do you say ?
Even Hillary clinton forgave the discretion of her husband, life goes on. But many a times when it comes to property issue there is a bitter rivalry you can see women changing colours too. There are many cases of property dispute where women take full advantage of being the weaker sex. This is where MEN suffer because law tends to favour them even if evidence is fabricated and presented. By and large it is the upbringing which determines the characterstics.
Frankly i dont know much about property disputes-who cons whom--perhaps lawyers are better suited to answer this.
In adultery too,law favors women.Ex husband has to pay alimony to wife even if she has been unfaithful.
The examples that this thread is focused on might not be the correct yardsticks to judge this situation by, as they are mostly celebrities or people in power, be it clinton or DGP rathod, or the minister or the actor. In a realtionship where money or power is not at stake, and there occurs an act of obvious infidelity, how do men and women respond? How many women would be prepared to look at it (their partner's infidelity) as a lapse and be willing to work towards building the relationship back again? And now, turn the tables around, and ask yourself, how many men would be prepared to do the same if they found their partners to have been in a realtionship with another man.
I think the question is not really whether women are submissive or materialistic, but how the gender difference manifests itself in relationships and with regard to money, power, prestige, and security. One simple example is the anti-dowry laws in India. From the lowliest of peons to the judges of family courts, everyone knows that the law is misued to harass men more than it is used to defend the rights of harassed women, and this abuse is perpetrated by women across class, caste, and education. When your security is threatened, you will be ready to compromise on most things, your values, your pride, and your relationship principles.
Things work one way in theory, but in practical life, people (men and women) frequently find theselves acting in a different manner, because self preservation overrides ethics 99% of the time.
Actually it is only about the celebrities that we come to know.In lesser known homes this could be a daily occurence---cant say what % of couples are totally faithful to each other.Obviously more women than men tolerate this--whatever be the reasons.Yes it would be an admirable act to try & mend the relationship,but it depends upon whether the errant partner is a habitual offender & whether s/he is repentive or not.
