My 3rd attempt to write a short story.

Digvijay Desai
from Bangalore
11 years ago

Hi, Great topic. Bad execution. Sorry for being so harsh but I feel your grammar needs sprucing up. Start reading better English. Not Indian English. It has messed up your language and grammar. I am neither an English professor nor an expert in the Queen's tongue, but even I can find many of faults in the sentences. 'my life was going smoothly...' being an example. I suggest you take up some voracious reading and get your blogs edited by some friends to bring up it's language. It is a pity when you have good topics to speak about but cannot convey it lucidly. I do not want to discourage you from writing, but you definitely have some distance to go before getting my thumbs up. Don't worry, not many are expert at this. Neither am I. I hope my 'honest' feedback is helpful to you and you don't take it as an insult.

Abhishek Bhopali
from Bhopal, Delhi, Gurgaon
11 years ago

Thank you for your valueable  feedback, Will definately take care of these flaws. As being a new blogger, it will take some time time to brush up my grammer.

 

Thaks all again