An untold story about being SCARED but not BROKEN.

Chandana Patnaik
Chandana Patnaik
from Raipur
4 years ago

So…This is to everyone reading this post. I hope there are days when your coffee tastes little magical, your playlist makes you dance, night sky touches your soul and strangers make you smile…. But few people around you aren’t friendly enough. They may perhaps make you feel uncomfortable. They may perhaps make you feel guilty of something which you haven’t done yet. Yes, I am talking about sexual assault. I feel happy to be a part of a society where people cannot talk about sexual abuse but can express their feelings when hashtag # starts trending. In this tech-era, people opt for twitter and other social media to express their feelings. Thanks to the Indian constitution for granting ‘freedom of speech and expression’. Well, coming to the topic. Who will actually, define what sexual assault is?     Touching someone without consent?     Abusing, yet letting you feel nothing went wrong?     Brainstorming someone to do something which she is not willing to….yet trying and convincing that everything is normal?     Or… Asking her to do something, when she doesn’t, letting her feel way too conservative or narrow-minded? I am not sure though. Whatever be the consequence, the survivor feels scared, guilty sometimes and bothered. Guilty for what? Maybe that crook is not wrong? Maybe his intentions were not wrong? Maybe she is thinking in a wrong way? Maybe….Maybe… Maybe……..The list of ‘MAYBE’s’ won’t end.  Survivor doesn’t recognize their victimization or don’t know how to put it into words. - They are afraid no one will believe them or someone will blame them only - They blame themselves or believe the abuse is a punishment for being friendly - They feel guilty for consequences to the offender or they fear their reaction to the same was wrong. These are multiple testimonies of autonomoussensible women speaking consistently & they have a common thread. They talk about being sexually assaulted in mass. They talk about being groped by a friend. They even talk about a cousin who hugs unnecessarily, inappropriately and compellingly. I wonder how a person can do that to someone. Don’t they have any self-respect? Don’t they feel ashamed of what they do? What about the ‘mental health’ of all these people who have gone through this traumatic experience? Here’s a request to all…if someone comes to you with the same story, don’t give a lame reason or just an expression….They come to you for moral support. They anticipate people who not only support them but make sure the offender learns a lesson. Understand that it was actually important for them to speak up. Else no one would have known their side of the story. Though it happened in past. It’s forgotten by many but not by those who have seen the horror, who have gone through the rough side of it. There’s also a message for those who have ever suffered…Surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel. P.S. Energies are contagious.

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